insanity

life is insane sometimes.
and while that may seem dramatic, when you work in a long-term recovery program, you find that defining insanity will often keep you more sane.
as i have watched residents voluntarily give up before completion and walk out of our program (where they have food, shelter, work, and a family that loves them) with no where to go, no one to go to, no food in their backpack, no change in their pocket, and no plan, i can't help but find comfort in the word insanity.
knowing that my brothers in recovery did not walk out that door because they were thinking straight.
just like when they were given a mixed drink at the age of 6, they had no way of knowing the fire they were walking into.
the fire that would eventually lead them to do whatever they had to for the next bottle or hit of crack.
so if you ask me about the disease of addiction, that is what i will tell you.
and just like my insanities do not define who i am, the insanities of an addict do not define who he or she is.
and isn't that the hope in it all?

our insanities are not what define us.