trust

It's funny how you can give a piece of advice so many times and not actually consider doing it yourself.

Trust the process.

That's what they say.

No that's what i say.

So when i sit in my seminar of rhythms and beat on my wooden goblet topped off with some kind of animal skin, it kills me that i am not an expert.

That i put myself in a situation where i am not the best.

Where i am not ahead in any way.

As i watch the experts i  have surrounded myself with, i can't help but get restless and frustrated wanting to find the button to press.

The button that will enable me to play the most complicated accompaniments and the most unique solos.

Yet, sometimes we are meant to be without a button.

Because without buttons, we are forced to surrender each day to the process of life.

We learn to accept that life only comes a day at a time.

We can't be experts over night.

We can't train our minds and bodies to think differently in 24 hours.

So we are left with the challenge.

Trust the process.

Trust that if today I put my head down and focus on whatever it may be in life, I will get better.

And the hope of it all...

In the end, we will thank god for not giving us too many buttons.

plans.

we plan day in and day out.
not without reason.
we are surrounded by a million things begging to be fit into our plan.
and at the same time, we ourselves are begging that a million other things be fit into our plan.
as we think towards the future...6 months down the road, 5 years down the road...we drive ourselves into a frustrating wall trying to figure out what it holds for us.
we shape our lives around what might happen next.
we hope for certain people, certain things, certain places.

our need for control.
it's unbelievable.

and until we can loosen the tight grip we have on tomorrow, we will continue to forget the reality of today.
the reality that today is a new day in itself.
that today, we have the chance to love and to be loved.
that today, we can walk in hope.
we can start to figure out who we are.

we can find peace.

mistakes.

you know what they always say...
try and avoid mistakes, but if you can't, at least make sure you learn from them.
i don't know if "they" say that. but i have realized that "they" should.
because as much as we are warned and herded away from certain habits and practices in life, sometimes we just cannot be convinced. 
and i am not sure that is always a bad thing.
yes, sometimes we are way too stubborn and proud.
and i do not doubt that the people who love us the most have some of the best suggestions.
but sometimes, there are things that you simply can't learn until you experience the consequences, good or bad, of your own mistakes.
the good news is most of the time our world doesn't crumble completely when the mistake comes along.
when our most recent way of functioning hits a breaking point.
when 'you know what' hits the fan.
and that is the hope in it all.
wisdom comes in the mistakes.

clothes.

clothes.
take them or leave them.
actually no.  please take them.
but when you take them, please repair them when they get torn.
when you take them, please bring them back when you grow out of them.
when you take them, please treat them like the gift that they are.
or actually treat them like the material things that they are.
all at the same time.
please when faced with the decision of taking or leaving them, realize that most people don't get that decision.
when deciding whether to wear your sequins bedazzled 'fun' top or your pinstripe pants suit, remember it's not that big of a deal anyway.

remember that what really matters is that whoever was sewing those sequins on was well-rested, well-nourished and paid well.

and please know that i spent 3 whole minutes this morning deciding which tights to wear.

a reflection: cough drops.

cough drops.
what a saving grace.
in those moments of panic when your throat won't cooperate with your mind.
or when your throat doesn't seem to note the social ques of a quiet meeting or an important phone call.
and while they aren't normally the tastiest treat you find in a candy dish, they take on a whole new quality when tears are coming to your eyes because of an itch that seems to be dancing around in your upper respiratory system.
funny how a little hard candy full of menthol can bring such immediate relief, yet once dissolved, all hell breaks loose once again.
because while cough drops will save you from the desperate heat of needing to cough in the middle of a dramatic performance of the christmas story, they won't bring any long-term solution.
that seems to be the case for a lot of things in life.

but as we search for the antibiotics and long-term healers of the world, let's not throw the cough drops out the window.

don't run.

why do we find such satisfaction and security in denouncing the tradition of another.
while i am not asking you to buy completely into what others say or believe, i am suggesting that you try to understand it and see the value in it before declaring it as completely worthless.
or actually, what if we didn't declare things as worthless.
It seems like when we write off what someone else is saying or doing as worthless, we take the easy road.
When i run from the challenge of understanding the motivation and mentality of a fellow human being, i lose a chance to learn about who i am as a human being.

Let's try not to run.

gratitude.

it's impossible not to have an extreme sense of gratitude when you regularly interact with someone extraordinary.

with one who sees the extraordinary deeds of life as ordinary.

with one who recognizes the beauty in each person he or she meets and points it out to anyone who can't seem to see it.

with one who recognizes his or her gifts and talents yet refuses to believe that sharing them is worthy of a standing ovation.

with one who pours out generosity refusing to define it with the term.

with one who looks for the extraordinary in each supposedly ordinary person.

maybe one day the extraordinary will be ordinary.